By Catherine Austin Fitts

My use of the word turtle as a verb began in 1998 during a period of extraordinary stress.

Almost all of my 1,001 best friends and colleagues decided to go with the flow of the financial coup d’etat. That meant playing along with the lawlessness towards our fellow man involved. I did not. I split away from the herd.

This made me a target.

Being a target is time consuming. I was ordered by a complex governmental matrix to do more work each week than I had hours to do or resources to fund. I faced a mountain of demands from parties who regularly ignored and broke the law. The double standards numbered in the hundreds, then thousands.  My name brand accountants lied and dirty tricked me. My name brand lawyers lied to me. Partners and employees lied and dirty tricked. Family members betrayed.  (Story here and gruesome details here)

The ultimate goal was to “kill, steal and destroy.” The process was brutal. There was no mercy and little kindness. The goal was to get me to kill myself or go mad and to so handicap me that I could be proved a “failure” in the eyes of the world.

Instead, I decided to “turtle.”

I ignored the fact that my situation was hopeless and chose to “turtle” forward. I did my best. I went slow and detailed. I never stopped taking action, moving forward.

I appreciated those who helped, no matter how modest their contribution was. I chose to be grateful and to trust that I was moving out of that which was unhealthy to where I belonged.

I made a list of things that gave me joy at no cost called “the beauty list.” When my heart was breaking, I would pull out the list and do something for myself.

I had candles in the office in midday. I took a break to listen to Bach’s Goldberg Variations and return to a state of coherence.

I had a list of “good things to get done” like cleaning out my closets. When the work demands were too frightening or overwhelming and the black cloud of sorrow would let me do no more, I would pull out that list and do a day of “good things to get done.”

No matter how bad things are you can always clean your closets. Or shine your leather goods. Or reorganize your books. Or call someone who is sick or hurting to see how they are doing. Or cook up a slow simmering pot of chicken soup.

When you wake up the next day, progress has been made. Forward action is a “force multiplier.” The divine intelligence has responded with a note of gratitude and support.

Giving up on corporate media, I decided to simply start answering questions that people sent me – by e-mail, by letter, my phone. I believed that the pathway towards where I was going could be found by being useful to people. No better place to start than with the people who are taking time out of their day to ask me a question. Ultimately those questions and answers evolved into the Solari Report.

I did not develop a business plan. I did not raise capital. I just did my best to help people build an honest map of our world so they could navigate wisely. I turtled my way into a business that serves people I care about and helps me live a free and inspired life.

Each day I turtle forth. My situation has improved enormously. However, much of the world’s situation has not. It is as if the lawlessness that I experienced two decades ago is eating its way around the world. As I watch the cultural debasement and financial and legal lawlessness touch another person’s life, sometimes I think with no pleasure “welcome to my world.”

If it touches you today, pay no mind and turtle forth. There is a wonderful world full of good people and good things. Anything is possible when you leave hopelessness behind.

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17 Comments

  1. Catherine, Huge thanks and continuing blessings for all. My partner of 15 years grew up as essentially a war orphan within Germany in WWII. She experienced and witnessed a succession of horrible atrocities and had many many times to rely on her shamanic relationship with animals to survive when human support failed. Her name is Turtle. She, like you, I am sure, learned to stay in her body and trust her God-given intuition that society belittles and authority does its best to quell. This learning takes a huge continuing effort in our society. One of the sadnesses for me in modern life is our loss of cultural role models who are real, wise, and human such as Will Rogers, Eleanor Roosevelt, Adlai Stevenson. Thank you again for your steadfastness, courage, humor and giving nature. You truly have become a role model and teacher for me and I hope a succession of strong beings in the future. The Force is with us. (Bob from the ABQ meeting)

    1. Bob:

      What an extraordinary partner you have. Good to have people in our lives who understand how to deal with real trouble. Can’t thank you enough for your kind words. I just drove back from a wonderful day in Chattanooga and your comment was my first greeting!

      Catherine

    2. Bob:

      It is a very small world. If I am not mistaken I believe I met your partner in October. She is a remarkable person. I felt an instant connection to her and felt there was much to be learned from her. How charming that her name is turtle. Thank you for reminding me to rely on my intution. It’s so true what you say about how dificult it is to trust one’s intuition in a culture where so much is done to belitttle and suppress it.

      Sandra

  2. One last thought: You speak of higher minds, yet you own guns. I don’t have a problem with your owning guns, but how does that equate your reminding me to have a higher mind when I question my Life Insurance Policy. Or maybe my temperature? We do have to laugh and love. Maybe some of us “gals” didn’t give a shit about defeating patriarchy. Consider me the white women who’s name is: Medea.

    Seriously Funny,

    Uninteresting

  3. Dear Catherine,
    Happy Thanksgiving. And, I thank you for your prayer’s. Higher mind is especially challenging for me since at times my outrage is a better tool. Perhaps it’s because I’m a low level serf with a few bucks. I never had the luxury of an important University or College, so though we are similar in age we are Very different in real world experience’s. That’s where lines are drawn. Even here. I’m the some college applicant, a 70’s military wife with a some college husband that’s dead. I have enough women’s Studies under my belt to know I am as uncomfortable with them as I am with the opposite. I always felt that the mistake of feminists’ were the same as all minorities…go ask Big Daddy. The very government you felt hurt you? Now you go Ask? Shake my head back and forth and back and forth.
    Sorry gals, You abort and don’t think that’s an act of violence or killing? You think that’s a gauge for freedom of your body? Are you not engaging in a form of violence? I’m sorry that you were tricked, but you were?

    Happy Thanksgiving. For what?! My God, the Smith gals came out on C-Span and admitted they were recruited by the CIA or FBI…sorry I don’t remember the agency, but the point is this: Feminism and goddesses are the same as patriarchy. Let’s not kid ourselves. Lest we be boors and more boors.

    My Dear Respected Catherine… Let’s just gather the money. Let’s just create our own fund? Why not? We all know the names that do it. Imagination? No whining, no more it hurts too much, I’m feeling bad today…just imagination. We all pool our money together around the world or within a country one at a time and call it: “The Freedom Fund” Let’s suck the bad money out of the system into the Freedom Fund.

    I read the Hamilton Documents quite awhile ago and though my memory is not sharp I was impressed by them. What stunts me just like my own file-full of problems is that I could not get anyone except for American Express that really wanted to help crack the Fraud.
    You Don’t have to trust me when I say that my proof is still here. In my full file drawer of evidence. American Express was the one credit card/bank that wanted to prove my fraud case.

    Don’t you think it’s interesting that my Fraud 95% surely happened in an emergency check-in on hospital. Holy Cross Broward County, Fl.? I’m trying to remember my Years, (let alone dates) but it was somewhere around 8-10 yrs. ago. My daughter knows since she helped me with the chaos of my theft. For our purposes here there is no reason for me to go dig the files.

    The interesting part for me is that I have always paid individually (much more expensive than anyone can imagine) and I’m still paying more and “got thefted” on SS intake in an emergency room. I mean does anyone NOT laugh @ this s***! Or see the irony?

    I’m not laughing. I’m Not ironic. I’m not a feminist or a ball grabbing man. I’m a very real individual. And I don’t like groups. I’m almost 60 yrs. old and I have paid my individual premiums like a good soldier without question. Currently 2000.00/mo with an, i think 20,000 deductible on health insurance. I’ve been with the same insurance company that I no longer remember my deductible. Sad, I know. I’m a wee bit tired. But it’s in my files. (laugh) Paper… Can’t keep up… squint of my failing eye… what’s that called…

    Oh my gosh I was being prompted to finish my thoughts as I was struggling with what I wanted to say… (it happened when I wrote and apparently took to long when I said: “what’s that called…”

    F*** my mother…as i took too long to think I was prompted by a very scary thingy (already forgot what it was called)… Fuck you thingy I was just thinking… trying to be thoughtful. See this is where Catherine and I part ways. I think? My lower mind conflicts with my higher mind.

    I’m being destroyed financially and I know it. Swiss bank acct. for yrs. and one day gone. Upon the client questioning. (this is what I said…kind of the way I write…a prompt to myself as a finish and then the prompter came on to finish my thoughts). Oh, My God I’m not being clear.

    See this line above… I wrote that ahead of where I was thinking. The Swiss Bank Acct.

    Oh my God, this is not making sense since the thingy came up to “prompt” my writing. I’m sick. I lost a lot of time.

    If I can’t trust this site, well that’s O.K. Since I trust myself. I am a caring (not careful) thoughtful and free person.

    Trying to re-read and re-read

    Happy Thanksgiving to all

    Hugs

    1. Karen:

      I am sorry that the lawlessness is upon you as well. Some of the Solari Report’s that might help:

      Spiritual Warfare
      The Power of It
      Interview with Bill Tiller

      but when I am in such a mood a good workout with a pair of boxing gloves is more productive.

      I own a gun because there is overwhelming statistical evidence ( http://solari.com/blog/point-blank-guns-and-violence-in-america-by-gary-kleck/ )to indicate that I will be much safer if I do and my community will be much safer if a lot of us do and the people who are lawless on behalf of the people who are running things on that basis intentionally know it. Same reason as the Swiss maintaining a well armed population.

      “Patriarchy” is a vague notion. Whatever and whoever the patriarchy may be we still do not understand who and what is pulling their strings. So first job is to get to the truth of what is happening.

      I have taken the liberty of applying “asteriks” to your four letter words. Bad times does not have to translate to bad manners. Whoever and whatever has done you harm, IMO dumping psychic garbage forward makes matters worse.

      http://solari.com/blog/let-not-the-sun-go-down-on-your-anger/

      Hoping this holiday blesses you and yours,

      Catherine

  5. Catherine:

    That is encouraging. The bad behavior and dirty tricks around the Ferguson situation have me shaking my head.

    Catherine

  6. Eileen:

    Appreciate that from someone who knows well what that world can feel like and do!

    Catherine

  7. Hello Catherine and Friends:
    Today I was teaching techniques of persuasion. We considered Dr. Martin Luther King’s efforts in the 1960’s and especially his I Have a Dream Speech.

    I asked the class if Dr. King were in Ferguson Missouri today what would he tell people? Their answers made me proud. There are many turtles in the world and some are surprisingly wise for their years.

    Blessing to you and to all in the Solarium …little pebbles also make ripples in a pond.

  9. Dear Catherine,
    I started reading through all of the links you attached and I don’t know how you have managed to turn all of this in something so sweet as turtling on. I just don’t know where that kind internal strength comes from that keeps on keeping on in the face of so many who wished to tear you down. I had my detractors, but nothing like your story. Holy TURTLES! I also know now why you might some “feelings” for people who work for an IG office. Sobbing out loud, not LOL. Goddess bless you always Catherine. And thank you for all of the goodness and knowledge and the ways of the world you bring to my life. I am a better person for it. Much Love. E

  11. Simply eloquent. I so appreciate your putting this “condition” into words, Catherine. To turtle forth, or to turtle. Develop a hard shell on the outside to protect your underside (your vulnerabilities) from those whose only understanding of the world is through fear and division, who seek to destroy anyone who unconditionally stands for truth and justice, and who seem to multiply like rabbits against the tortoise. Thanks to you, Catheriene, and to your Solari Community, we shall all endeavor to turtle forth… with you.

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