By a Member of the Solari Network
• Let her be angry and negative about the future — just listen and don’t give advice — and then talk about what you both have to be grateful for in each other, your families and your friendships
• Send her those cards with the songs in them, about how she is loved and providing hope for the future – enclose a check for $25 with instructions that she use it to go to the movies or get a massage
• Employ her teenager shoveling snow or moving heavy things and pay him well, so he can spend money out with friends once in a while
• Volunteer your boyfriend/husband/son to help her fix things around her house that are broken
• Send her home with the leftovers after the party
• Ask her to go to dinner or to costly networking events, your treat, and if she protests the cost, say that you are only paying it forward so she can help another in hard times in the future
• Tell her if she loses her home, she and her child can always come and stay in your basement, and you will help her move her most important things to a safe place
• Tell her it’s OK to apply for food stamps and Medicaid – you and she have paid into the system for years and you are happy that it helps someone you know
• Offer to go with her to the mandatory credit counselors and social workers if she is afraid and tell her you know lots of other people like her who are doing it
• Don’t say “just get any job” unless you know there is one that will hire “overqualified” people as old as she is for more than minimum wage with no benefits
• Ask all your friends and colleagues if they know of anyone hiring a (lawyer, accountant, architect, etc.) or have a decent job for someone having such qualifications, even if the pay is modest; get details and follow up if anyone offers suggestions or help
• Invite her to have coffee with you and a good networking contact who might help her
• Offer to proofread her resumes and cover letters
• Tell her over and over again that she has value, that you care and that you pray for her every day
• Don’t ever say “things don’t matter” or “what a great opportunity to get rid of all that junk” when she worries about losing her home – wide-screen TVs may not matter, but grandmother’s china, mother’s silver, children’s portraits and the collection of antique spinning wheels, hobby supplies and knitting magazines going back to 1960 are part of her being and hard to part with
• Do research yourself on local medical and dental clinics that will take indigent patients without a huge hassle, programs for assistance with high energy bills, weatherization programs, etc. and report the results
• Find free things that you can do together – she will be very lonely if she has no job to go to
• Offer to include her in volunteer work you do, and go together
I know this because this is what my friends have done for me, and it has made all the difference. I am blessed.
